How to Suck Dyke D*ck

check the pics that didn't make the post. #1. Baby Dyke & #2 Nun Uhn (NSFW)

First you,
and your partner must realize.

That it is a dildo.
IMO.
Warm it up.
A warm rag or immersion in warm water may do the trick.

If this is some indoors sexiness…
Shower.
Please shower.
There is something to be said about all day good pussy.
Or club bathroom drunken strokes.
But that’s another column.

Showers allow for the full freak flag for that bashful hygiene hype in you.
You wash fruit right.
You trust fruit right?

Aight so to the sucking…I can’t front. This woman Rachel Venning wrote a dope piece on sucking d*ck….
So without further biting. I’ll just list her 11 Tips on Sucking Dyke D*ck.

1. Use a realistic cock. Blowjobs are no time to surprise your sweetie with one of those lavender dolphin dildos from the eighties, cute though they are. For decent dick-sucking you need a sexy number with a clearly defined shaft and head, and veins and balls if possible. Some dildo recommendations: Johnny, Leo, Ultraskin.
[TBC ed. Note: I love the Realistic brand – comes in POSC colours]

2. When you strap on the dick, take a few moments of private time to really connect with it. Touch, it rub it, if you're packing enjoy the feel of it pressing against your pants. Make sure that the base of the cock is right where it feels the most solid connection to your body.

3. Think psychic dick. Although it's not a flesh-and-blood penis, your mind can have a hard-on that's as raging as anyone's. The dildo is the physical expression of a psychic reality, and that dick can feel fantastic, rubber or not.

4. Do it somewhere nasty. Something about cocksucking calls for dark alleys, bathroom stalls, and parked cars. Let the staging add to the sexiness.

5. Put on a good visual show. When you're sucking, remember that your playmate is getting off largely on imagination and the look of your hands, mouth, tongue and head. So make sure there are good sight lines and keep your actions visible.

6. Use your hand to push the base of the dick into your lover's cunt. The most physical sensation for the receiver is going to come from that one point of contact, so make it work. Rhythmically thrusting with your hand along the shaft into the base while working the head in and out of your mouth gives both a visual and a physical thrill. Another good reason to hang on to the base of the dildo is to control the depth of the thrusts.

7. If you can deep throat, do it. No matter what anyone's gender, that is always impressive and exciting.

8. Treat the dildo like a real penis--focus on the things that feel good to flesh and blood cocks: stroke the vein along the bottom, tongue the slit, gently tickle the balls.

9. Add condoms. If you like using condoms to keep the dildo clean, perhaps because it might go from mouth to cunt, to ass, and back again, it's a great opportunity to show off that safe sex 101 trick in which you roll the condom on with your mouth. Practice first. Try an unlubed condom like the Ria (now Trustex) or a flavored condom like the Kiss of Mint.

10. Feel the buzz. If you want more genital stimulation than the psychic thrill or the base of the dildo pushing into your vulva can provide, consider tucking a small bullet shaped vibrator between your harness and your clit. One harness, the Buzz Me Tender, has a built in pouch for just this purpose.

11. Options. Some girls won't mind if you slip some fingers in her pussy while you're blowing her. Others might find that upsets their psychic gender-bending state. So check in. A finger in the ass however, is a perfect complement to any blowjob.