Corny Negroes.

Now understanding that there is someone for everyone. Big, Small and Stuntin alike. There is a perfect match for everyone. I believe that fa sho.

But.

Corny Negroes.

I mean we all know them. Extra N*ggas. Just so full of themselves that they are caricatures of themselves. Huge baggy jeans, flamboyant gestures, loud at the movies for no reason. Oh, wait what about the unbalanced couple. You know the one with one really good looking person and one so-so or not so attractive person. It’s all ego. There’s one half of that relationship that relied on some smooth game to get them to the winners circle. This is where the personality really counts. That’s when you start hearing things like “ she’s a good person” and “ she makes me laugh”. Ya feel me?

But.

There is a place that every butch visits. Cute, so-so looks, and fly macks alike. It’s called the awkward and corny place. It can be the result of youth or inexperience. Most often it's the result of insecurity. It’s when you smother a woman with chilvalry. When you call too often, When you write too much. When you haven’t spent more than two days apart. When you start to need her. You have become corny. She’ll say something like this

“I need some space” it really means “ bitch go home”

Whatever you do. Go. Leave. Be Out. Get on Craiglist or Downelink and get yourself a distraction. Go out with your homies.

But DO NOT, under any circumstances:
  • call her
  • call her after 10pm (even if before you could later)
  • call her more than twice a day
  • send her flowers (repeatedly – once is fine player)
  • show up to her job
  • call her friends or her mom
  • text her repeatedly
  • cry when speaking to her about your relationship (only during the space time, if she let's you back bawl your ass off.)
  • drive by her school,house, job,massage parlor hoping to see her
  • stand out her window
  • frequent spots that she frequents - let her have the union square cafe - space Entiendes?! (understand?!)


If you do. Consider it over. A give yourself the CBA – Corny Butch Award ‘Cause what you’ve done homie is straight stalked. Any sane woman will dead you down. Cause that ish is crazy. Part of the TBC code of conduct will suggest interventions on the behalf of the needy butch.

In these cases Butch Friends or Caring Witnesses:
  • Invite your friend to dinner, the movies, your girls house.
  • Go out to the booty club
  • Be available for the reasoning late night phone call.
  • Smoke your homie out.
  • Listen to Get Money (“F*ck B*tches – Get Money”)


Do whatever you can to save your homies pride cause if you allow the stalk. Your homies name is mud. Femme’s talk and you won’t get a quality chick until the local college’s freshman class comes in. Everyone will know you are a relationship fraud and you will learn the term pariah.

1. A social outcast: “Shortly Tom came upon the juvenile pariah of the village, Huckleberry Finn, son of the town drunkard” (Mark Twain).
2. An Untouchable.


It’s about being secure ya know. Feeling yourself just enough to only need your opinion to balance yourself. Not relying on an outside equal entity to tip your scales. We have to be complete before we enter these relationships. Initially we should be able to take it or leave it. Down the road we should be able to talk it out. But for real. Have other shit to do. What were you doing before her. And what will you being doing after her. Insecurity can destroy some of the tightest friendships, don’t let it leave you looking crazy.

:LATE:

Next Blog. The Triple B.

This post - is dedicated to a good friend of mine. Who is finally. OVER IT.

3 comments:

d* said...

from a femme perspective, this is some rilly rilly good advice. the over-the-top biz: someone did that to me once. i think we'd been dating for maybe 3 weeks & it got creepy. at week 2 she wanted to know where this was going. then i went alone to paris for a week & apparently (she told me) that she watched my plane land at jfk over the internet. wait. what? ew. why would anyone admit that, like, ever? once she drove around uptown looking for me after a doc's appt - this is after i asked her to not do so. freaky. i cannot tell you how many times things like that happened. and she was confused when i told her to take a walk. umkay...

all of my friends refer to her as the stalker. she will never live that name down.

friends don't let friends behave like they should don a straight jacket. talk your buddies off the ledge!

Sunni Butch said...

*true that*

I've never evvvvvvver heard that you can watch a plane land over the internet.

Most times for Most overzealous butch types we mix the nuturing feminine energy with protective masculine energy to create that cosmic butch appeal that the ladies love Cool j for.

a dab too much and you have a caustic alchemy called relationship acid. that will burn through any patience.

One tip for realized women. If you don't like her "like that" let her know. Stalkers do not need empathy sex. To be a "friend" or any other empty retainer.

If ain't working. Put a "out of order" sign on the door.

Melissa said...

Your post was awesome, hilarious. I told my butchboi that I needed some space because of all the drama with her ex calling at all times, talking about you-dont-love-her-you-love-me. And damn if three days later (after BEGGING me to stay) she left me for that hag.WTF?